I understand I’ll have to keep this brief and precise lest my family tracks me down and takes me to church for my ‘insolence’.
I simply wanted to state and inquire whether my fellow African offspring can relate to some of these ludicrous habits African parents seem to pass on to each other for our supposed ‘greater good.’
For any parent reading this, kindly don’t skip a line, this is to save you from any heinous decision you might make that will only push your child further away from you.
Privacy is IMPORTANT to every individual. There’s no such excuse as “he is hiding something from me” or “she could be doing the wrong thing”. Do not read your child’s journal, or go through their messages because you eradicate the notion of ‘safe space’ for the person. Sadly this transcends parenthood to relationships too. How hard is it not to snoop? Halafu swiping left or right when someone shows you a photo on their phone. Stay in your lane and let people breathe.
African parents, why are y’all so self conscious on how our actions may reflect your parenting skills such that you also readily label some of our experiences as ‘phases’ and choose to act mute to avoid the situation as though the silence expels the problem? They don’t seem to know that depression is a real thing or homosexuality has a funny way of lurking in one’s DNA. Sure, it’s not legal in Kenya, but the world is already mean enough, why make it a harsher place? They are ready to take one to church and pull all-nighters if need be to remove those demons.
And lastly, we see through the bullshit.
We know when things aren’t working out for you, we know when you had a bad day, as we get older we know how you also fail as humans and parents, so give us the freedom to make our own choices and pick ourselves up. African parents know how to throw insults that one rarely recovers from and are quite unnecessary. African parents can destroy your self esteem while thinking they are building it.
But all in all, mad respect to the folks who beat you up and still manage to ask you why in hell you are crying. Cheers to the mad childhood, and to my friends who are now parents, don’t forget yourselves!